At the first buzz of the alarm clock, I left the bed while it was still dark outside. While, on every other day, there is a desire to clutch the pillow and cop some Zs again, today it was different. I jumped out of bed and reached for my cell phone, something that I usually do not put my hands on at that insane hour. What surprised me pleasantly was a line of text messages, wishing me health, happiness and success. As I washed my yet dazed eyes, I sensed a surge of joy and an accelerated desire for the day to unfold. It was 10/10, my birthday!
While that explains the reasons for my stimulation and the stirring warmth inside me, I finally managed to pull a calmness about myself that helped me make a pretty softened entry into a day when I considered myself fortunate to be alive. I secretly thanked the Almighty for letting me live to see this beautiful day. After all how many have the privilege of getting up to realising joyfully that it is their birthday. In a way, birthdays are a gentle reminder of life that unceasingly beats inside us. Ironically, life is the single most invaluable treasure, the value of which cannot be estimated until a time comes when we have to make a desperate attempt to continue living.
A year ago, I felt lucky to celebrate my birthday on 10/10/10, a date that has gone down in history for the next one thousand years. This time, a full three hundred sixty five days later it was 10/10/11, clearly reminding me that I was well past that iconic year. A momentary nostalgia gripped me. I thought of all the fun and merriment that my loved ones had treated me to, and of the myriad wishes sent out by friends. Amidst the bliss of family life, lay the pleasure of having known some brill friends. Reminiscing the happy associations made over the years, I turned on to the most accessible means of connecting with them, the Internet.
However common place birthday wishes on networking sites may appear, yet when one sees them on one's memorable day, the thrill is immense. So with the typical curiosity that engulfs us on days likes these, I logged in to be delightfully surprised with some real warm wishes. It was indeed overwhelming to see the number of friends who had reached out. A single device that brings to one all kinds of news from the world over, also allows one to see different facets of life at the same time, and all at the click of a button. I read some of the email and messages sent out by well wishers. Nonetheless, my mind wandered to the corresponding tabs that flashed news and updates about the unfortunate demises of a couple of notable personalities. One had left the world after having created virtually a 'ding in the universe'. The other had kept a significant set of music lovers mesmerised with his mellifluous voice and had echoed their deepest thoughts in his soulful numbers. The void created by the end of such illustrious personalities sent a wave of grief amongst fans and followers, and tributes flooded the sites. I found a mourner in myself. The world had become acutely aware that there would be no more of this prodigiousness and things that appeared limitless existed no more. An irreplaceable void was all that remained.
Thoughts about the uncertainty and fragility of life plagued my subconscious sense through the day. On the one hand, there was the selfish joy of living in perfect health. This weighed restlessly against the abrupt extinguishing of two most precious lives that had shone like bright stars in their respective domains. Questions filled my head with a mysterious distress and sought answers that possibly could never be delivered. At one point, I was celebrating a desired moment of my life. At the other, I was mourning the untimely departure of those who had added advancement and beauty to the lives of millions of others. Paradoxically, the very best of wishes sent out by teeming fans to these great personalities in their lives, could not keep them from the untimely clutches of evil death. Nonetheless, they were celebrities in their fields who were not just glorified but had attained immortality through the legacy they have left behind.
As I went through the day with a marked felicity about the special time in my own life, I pondered over its vacillation between survival and annihilation, between life and death, the permanent and the transitory, and most plainly between living and dying. The uncertainty that grips something we cherish most is the biggest reason for a mental unrest. The thoughts devitalized the sprightliness that filled me with, a while ago. In a state of inner turbulence and upheaval, I tried to interpret the train of thoughts that had cropped. All that I could gather was that while nothing lasts forever, not life in the least, the marks on one's souls scored by touching the lives of others, almost certainly do. This is perhaps the one essence of living. No matter how long or short life is, its degree can be rated on a scale. All those that come close to a tenner are the credits earned, and become the defining aspect of one's life.
I thought about my own life and realised searchingly that I had done nothing extraordinarily to make my presence felt in this world. I admit I am not skilled enough to make such an impression. I wondered if I would be remembered after I departed. The idea almost annihilated me! There was an itch to add value to this most invaluable gift of life. It is in times of self assessment and reflection that one evaluates the reasons to live. One wonders whether it is worth being around.
Yet, they say that one does not have to be heroic to be someone. There is still a lot that can be done by the most ordinary folks. Something that may not bring a divine name, but a strong sense of satisfaction. A complacency at having done something to bring about a change in the way things exist for others. There is always a need to bring about warmth in the lives of those who live with a cold disgust for the same. Although we become aware of the distress, despair and suffering that people around us endure, it is not particularly often that we reach out to them with empathy. A heart lent to one that suffers a heart ache, a resolve to provide that healing touch and above all a desire to present a selfless act of kindness, goes a long way in conciliating the giver and the receiver.
My thoughts travel back to myself and, I agree once again, firmly as ever. As I appreciate the little joys of everyday life I keep my steadfastness to live it up with the right set of values, values that keep me from erring, values that make me a better human being and values that help me contribute that nano bit to make the world a better place to live. Conclusively, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I find myself not particularly far from obtaining a tenner. I can see in a blur the smiles that I have brought to faces that have desperately needed one. I can somewhat agree that the unique numbers are not merely etched as an occasion against my name. Instead, they uncannily remind me of their importance in my life and there is a constant and conscious effort on my part towards attaining this degree. The rewards earned are immeasurable. The implicit acknowledgement that come my way are the rightful wishes that characterize my soul with the comfort they have attained.
As I call it a day, it does not seem all that disagreeable ! 10/10 appears in sight, and I'm walking up to ground zero!
